Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They took my balls.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
