Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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