...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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