So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize