Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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