ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
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I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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