Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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