Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
