im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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