You really coming over, don't trick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
