My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
