Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.