no, he came in my armpit
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.