just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Green mimosas i think yes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.