She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
nutella sex= disaster
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.