I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
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I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "