Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
