matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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