Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
