i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm passing your future prison.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
