I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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