I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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