and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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