that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize