Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
