walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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