her vagine was all disorganized.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
