i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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