somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
