sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
