Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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