Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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