so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize