I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
