i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
