Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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