At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
