you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I need moral support for this bender
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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