I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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