...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
