well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
