Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
