hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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