Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
