Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
