Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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