i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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