I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
