i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltđ
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesnât say âIâm in love with you and want to marry youâ idk what does
Randomize
