Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize