it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
