don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
