We're facebook friends in real life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
