Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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