my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
