I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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