The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize