So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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