i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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