The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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