I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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