Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize